Sick Little Girl

This morning when Alicia woke up, she told us that she didn’t feel like eating breakfast… We instantly knew something was up, because eating is Alicia’s very favorite thing to do (has been since she was a baby! ). Not 15 minutes later, and she was in the bathroom throwing up. Poor Princess. After she was cleaned up, I checked and saw she had developed a fever as well…

She spent a good portion of the day on our bed. We had movies playing in there, but she slept through most of them. She also hardly ate a thing. All she ate all day was two 4 ounce things of apple sauce.

She seemed to perk up a tiny bit this evening, at around 8 pm, and even played a little bit… But she was still warm, and still not interested in eating.

Hope she feels better tomorrow.

You know, we have the strangest cat. She is obsessed with paper, of all things. Whenever one of the kids leave a paper on the floor, or if they are laying on the floor drawing or something, Cuddles will ALWAYS find that stray piece of paper, and she HAS to lay on it.

Isn’t that weird? I’ve had a lot of cats in my days, but not one of them has been a paper fanatic like Cuddles… It amuses the kids very much… This evening Josh was doing some extra schoolwork*, and was laying on the living room floor doing it. Well, Cuddles wouldn’t stay off his workbook, so he went and got her this piece of paper to lay on, so that he could get his work done. *lol*

*Speaking of Josh… The kids have been booking right along with their spectrum workbooks, and only have math left to do. I told them that once all the workbooks were done, they would be on summer vacation, as we don’t want to buy anything else until we buy the stuff for next school year… Well, Josh was determined that he was going to get an early vacation, so this afternoon and evening he pulled out his workbook and FINISHED it! There were 168 pages in it, and he was on 90-something (I think). He worked for hours, and his poor hand was cramping when he was done! *lol*

Normally we get done with school at the end of April and we take a 4 month vacation (terrible I know, but I need the vacation more than the kids do. ), and that’s what I was hoping for again… But I guess Josh had other plans.

Jared wasn’t impressed when he heard that news. He’s not happy about the fact that Josh is going to be off doing other things while he’s working on lessons…

Though I think I will recruit Josh’s help with Amanda and her letters, while I work with Alicia. He likes playing “teacher” with his sisters.

I got some more work done on the garage sale stuff… But it’s getting harder and harder.

I brought out a couple bins full of baby care items. I pulled out some things that I plan on saving in the kids keepsake boxes, and then got the rest ready for the sale… I even let my obsessive organizing self go to work, and even made my own gift basket for the sale:

But then tonight, I was looking through the pictures that I took:

The more I looked at these pictures, the more depressed I became.

It’s really hard giving the kids’ toys away. It’s even harder giving their clothes away… But when it comes to the items I used to take care of them when they were babies, then it becomes downright impossible. *sigh*

I don’t think I could handle taking those bins to the garage sale. I cry at the thought of it… And I doubt very seriously that the infant bathtub will go too. I just don’t think I can do it.

When the kids were babies, I was in my element. I loved every moment of it… Now don’t get me wrong, I still love being a mom, and caring for them… But it’s not the same. They are getting so independent. They need me less and less, as they grow… And while that makes me proud, and I love them more with each passing day… I still miss the time when they were helpless babies, depending on me for everything.

I truely was in my element… I read a lot of blogs, and I know that a lot of people find the first 6 weeks difficult… I never did. Not even with Jared. I loved every second of taking care of them, and could barely get myself to share them with anyone else. (Bad Julie!)

Of course, I don’t think it helps that I have such a deep longing for another baby.

I got YET ANOTHER negative pregnancy test today, and with the garage sale looming before me, I feel like the door to motherhood is getting slammed in my face.

I am happy and blessed with Jared, Josh, Alicia, and Amanda… But my heart yearns for another one. *sigh*

• ETA:

Sorry about the rambling thoughts that didn’t seem to make much sense… Just feeling a mite bit blue, and needed to get it out of my system…